This is why i hate monkeys

Do not read this if you can't stomache blood and gore i just warn you now lol
Since i can remember my mother has hated monkeys and i realized when i got a little i also hated monkey especially chimps they are the creepiest i actually prefer gorillas to chimps.
I will not go near the monkeys at the zoo ever i can just stand the little ones but the fact that they are so similar to humans its one of the creepiest part about them and the most dangerous.
You can blame humans that decide to keep them as pets for their attacking them because they are wild animals but the things these animals can do are beyond horrible .
Even in the wild though i was just watching i shouldn't be alive on the animal planet and these men went to a chimp reserve that day the electric fences went down and one got out this chimp bite this one mans hand clean off and went after them when they ran the chimp hunted them down and almost killed the one man till his friend saved him. The other man wasn't so lucky they found his body later with his jaw ripped off among other things.
The worst story i saw was the women on Oprah who's faced was ripped off by her friends pet chimp her friend had raised from a baby , you can read the story here .
But to sum it up this women went to feed her friends chimp and he had gotten lose she called her friend to tell her it got loose and she said she would come right over. By the time her friend got there the chimp had already attacked her and was ripped her apart the most horrible bone chilling part was on the 911 call when she just stops and says omg hes eating her the monkey was eating her flesh right off her and she was still alive. I think the worst part is how smart these animals are with the men in the reserve when they tried to fight back they fought like they were fending off an animal but they are smarter than that you have to fight them off like you would with a human who will anticipate your next move or your going to end up with a chunk of your leg gone or your hand missing. I hate monkeys of all sorts i really do i don't care how cute you think you are they aren't so cute ripping off your flesh . This is also coming from someone who likes snakes and spiders lol but i think most people expect the scarier animals to attack them most people don't think a monkey will .
End Rant lol


  1. Agree, agree, agree. I have always been disturbed by these animals and I can't believe people A) think they are cute and B) actually think they make good pets!!!

  2. Omg, I thought I was the only one. I freaking hate monkeys, especially baboons. They terrify me.
    When I lived in Thailand I once went to this funeral (weird story I know, but bear with me,) and the wake was in a garden with a coconut tree. They hired a guy who had a HUGE macaque monkey trained specifically to climb coconut trees and tap them to see if they were ripe, and then pick the good ones and throw them down. He bought this thing through the crowd on a giant chain, and everyone was like, 'Shit the monkey is here, get the crap out of the way'. It was straining at the chain and like snarling, and when it went up the tree my friend was like ok get inside NOW, and the thing started just biffing coconuts into the crowd as hard as it could.
    It was so scary, and just goes to show you that anyone who actually has to LIVE around monkeys all the time knows that YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MONKEYS D:

    I am sorry about my colourful language, but that it just what this topic does to me.

  3. I hate monkeys too.
    they arent cute
    they are scary
    and way too human like...

    i too stay away from the ones at the zoo

  4. I hate all monkeys ...if i had my way i would abuse them all ,beat and torture them and make them all die a slow painful death

  5. My brother use to be a zookeeper, every so often we would visit him at work, where he would get some fruit and take us into one of the monkey cages. GOD! it was horrible, ugly little creepy bastards, and if one had a ugly baby monkey clinging to it I always got the urge to snatch it from its ma and tear its head off in front of her, or maybe stamp on the mother's head while cutey baby watched and gibbered helplessly before I smashed it against a wall. I'm normally against animal experiments but mankind can't devise suffering enough for monkeys.

  6. I hate monkeys! my family thinks it's funny that they scare the crap at me. They are nasty! I'm watching a show called fatal attractions and im watching the same thing that you described on Oprah. Monkeys are terrible i swear. I'd care less if they all dropped dead tomorrow

  7. There isn't a monkey alive that I wouldn't like to torture - slowly - and laugh as it died. I can't believe that there are so many monkey haters 'out there', in fact, more people hate them than like them. What is amazing is that I love animals and volunteer for my local shelter but show me a monkey and all I can think of is how I'd love to kill it - slowly - and to look into its eyes as it died.

  8. I love kittens and penguins.


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